The Price of a Dream

I used to be a very naive guy who thought that the reason for a man to be unsuccessful is because of their lack of dream. I became cocky and think low of those who don’t have a dream. Lately, I got a harsh lesson from life itself. I realize that man is never afraid of their dream. Not even an ounce of it, for it is what they wish for. Man only afraid of the “Price they have to pay” in order to achieve that dream.

I reflect back and think of what I have paid since I ignite those fire in my heart. I am far away from my family, I lost almost all of my best friends, and lately I shattered my heart into pieces for I have lost those I dear the most.

The first time those fire light up in my heart, I thought that in the end, I will reach that goal together with those whom I dear the most, especially my best friends. But, somehow along the way, they gave in to mediocrity no matter how hard it is for me to drag their mind and body back on track. I know it is hard. But, trust me. In the end, it will all worth it. My voice is like passing wind to their ears. They forget about their dream home, they forget about the ability to give their children best chance possible to be successful in life, and also the dream of building a special school to show the world what education is capable of creating. I don’t have enough power to drag them to stay on course while their mind force their body to wander of, back to their comfort zone. They’re still my friends. But, I know for sure that I won’t go up there together with them. So, I left them be and pray for the best for them.

Getting out of comfort zone is like building a habit out of it. The first time of me doing it is when I left my job at a bank to be a “Bike Tire” salesman. I have to fight my way out of it in order to convince my parent that this is the road worth crossing through. Some feelings in the world only could be communicate through yelling and fighting. It ended up me almost being thrown out of my house. But, somehow, parents will always be parents. They always open their heart to their children no matter how big of stupid mistakes were made.

The first time of me becoming a Sales person, I could assure you that I am 100% sure that I don’t have any talent on those field. That is the lowest point in my life. I feel so worthless. Worst of all, my friends and parents tell me in a mocking way: “See! I’ve told you. That is no fun at all” . It is like being thrown down into a endless pit.  I can’t remember any single day of mine passed without crying. Only two people in the whole world who genuinely believe in me. The first one is my girlfriend, “J”. I always went to her home every night just to get an ear and a hug so that I have the strength to start another day. Since that moment, I promise myself, I will take care of her for the rest of my life with every ounce of strength of mine.

Days passing by and months passing by. I change job from one to another company. As what every Sales & Marketing book says, “talent in selling is overrated”. Everyone have the talent to sell anything in life. It just need to be harnessed. I become more profound and confident in my skill. Today, I believe that I can sell anything as long as those things provide real value to my customer. 

In the process of collecting those things, I move to Jakarta which I believe is where those missing pieces located. I came here together with my girlfriend. Left my family and friends in Medan. It is not that I don’t love them. Because of my love to them, I promise to someday return and set them free. Another sacrifice which should be worth paying for. I am collecting all of the resources I needed to start building my empire. I believe I am close to it. Just need to collect some more missing pieces which I keep looking for each waking day.

Then, another bill comes due. Somehow, I lost my girlfriend. My heart were shattered into pieces. Every good memories with her become sorrow.  I lost yet another reason to move on. I question every decision I have made. But, the hardest one, I question my Dream. I don’t blame her for her decision. And, I also don’t blame myself. It is just a part of life, “Shit happens!”. I am so mad at myself for igniting those fire in my heart. I am so pissed off until I realize that: “The Fire blazing so hot that not even all of the water in the whole world could put it off”. I have come so far. I am a far better person than what I used to be. I know that all of this process will be worth it. For those of you, who say that “I won’t be the same anymore”. Let me tell you what. You’re right!!. Because, I WILL BE BETTER!!.

My sincere thanks to my first mentor, Mr. Gunawan for lighting those spark in my heart. I promise that I will make you proud. I only take rest for a while.

Best regards,

Jakarta, 16 December 2018, 12:34 PM

Wincun, the guy who is conquering his own fear.

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